Nostalgia and Gratitude: Reflections on Motherhood and Another Year of Life

Every year, our birthdays roll around, and we find ourselves reflecting on how we got here. What combination of life events and choices has shaped this version of me? This year, as I celebrate another trip around the sun, I feel a mix of emotions that so many mothers might recognize. On one hand, there’s the thought, “Wow, I’m getting older.” On the other, there’s the weight—and beauty—of motherhood that shapes so much of my life.

This year feels particularly bittersweet because my daughter’s first birthday is just around the corner. When I woke up this morning, I couldn’t help but think, “Last year at this time, I was very pregnant—and completely over it.” (If you’ve been there, you get it, and I thank you for your validation.) That memory quickly spiraled into others.

I thought about the newborn days, which felt like a lifetime and a blink all at once. Now, I have a 1 year old, for the second time. Did I savor every moment? Did I rush back into work too quickly? Does my daughter know how deeply she is loved and how much of what I do is for her and her brother?

Today, I reminded myself that it’s okay to hold both grief and gratitude. I can grieve the fact that those early days of postpartum with my daughter—the ones that felt so overwhelming—are behind me. At the same time, I can feel deeply grateful for where I am now. My body has carried two children, and I worked so hard to overcome the challenges of those postpartum days.

As a therapist, I often tell my clients that two things can be true at once. You can mourn what’s gone while celebrating where you are now. You can feel a longing for the past and still be proud of how far you’ve come. You can wish for moments back while appreciating the beauty of what’s in front of you.

Today, I’m choosing gratitude. Even though I’m another year older—and hopefully wiser ;)—I’m thankful for the memories I’m creating with my family right now. I see pieces of myself in my children, and watching them grow is like seeing a mirror of who I am and who my husband and I are together. My 3-year-old is showing more of his personality every day, and it’s incredible to see reflections of us in him and his sister.

Sometimes, nostalgia for the past can pull us away from the present. I get it; motherhood is filled with moments that feel fleeting, making it hard to stay grounded. But those small, daily memories—the hugs, the giggles, the the chaotic moments—are what make life so full.

So today, I’m practicing what I often share with my clients: mindfulness. I’m anchoring myself in the little things, the moments that make this season so precious. Because even as time moves forward and I grow further from those early days of motherhood, there’s so much to celebrate right here, right now.

If you’re reading this and feeling the weight of reflection, know this: it’s okay to feel all the things. Grief and gratitude can coexist. And somewhere in the messy middle, we find the magic of motherhood.